How to: Universal Paintball Suspenders
Suspenders where they dare not go!
Here's a problem that some of us, but not all of us have---Lack of Ass.
Some players have a badonkadonk. This article is probably not for you. I'm going to address a problem that your shelf-asses stop dead in it's tracks. You probably have never experienced what I'll be talking about here. This also tends to help people that have issues with back pain.
But for those of us that won't get an anaconda sprung, a problem can occur with paintball pod packs. And that's that the bastards want to slide down you while you try to carry a fully loaded pack or harness, with roughly enough paint to drown a toddler. All that paint can weigh a lot, and wants to drag that pod pack down on you.
I have experienced this exact problem while I've had my 6+9 pack from Social Paintball. The pack is very nice, and frankly huge. But it is only supported with a double belt, and only goes around your waist. When loading the pack up, you're adding a LOT of weight in paint. And while you might not have any issues when you initially put if on, a lot of us can run into problems once you go from turret mode to bunny. Namely, the pack starts sliding down with each step you take, and you find yourself reaching down and grabbing it so that it doesn't slide down to your legs. While that's not ideal when just standing around, it REALLY sucks when you're running and getting shot at by people with ill-intent.
Some players have a badonkadonk. This article is probably not for you. I'm going to address a problem that your shelf-asses stop dead in it's tracks. You probably have never experienced what I'll be talking about here. This also tends to help people that have issues with back pain.
But for those of us that won't get an anaconda sprung, a problem can occur with paintball pod packs. And that's that the bastards want to slide down you while you try to carry a fully loaded pack or harness, with roughly enough paint to drown a toddler. All that paint can weigh a lot, and wants to drag that pod pack down on you.
I have experienced this exact problem while I've had my 6+9 pack from Social Paintball. The pack is very nice, and frankly huge. But it is only supported with a double belt, and only goes around your waist. When loading the pack up, you're adding a LOT of weight in paint. And while you might not have any issues when you initially put if on, a lot of us can run into problems once you go from turret mode to bunny. Namely, the pack starts sliding down with each step you take, and you find yourself reaching down and grabbing it so that it doesn't slide down to your legs. While that's not ideal when just standing around, it REALLY sucks when you're running and getting shot at by people with ill-intent.
This big bastard slides right down when fully loaded
So how do we solve this problem? Suspenders.
And I can hear you now---"But my pod pack doesn't have any clips for suspenders!"
Have no fear (to go with your lack of ass), we can solve this problem, and the solution comes from my teammate Evan. And after wearing said solution for roughly a year, I can report that the solution will work, work for everyone, and doesn't require squats and supplements. And it's extremely simple for you to do at home, on your own, and it took about 20 minutes to knock out.
And I can hear you now---"But my pod pack doesn't have any clips for suspenders!"
Have no fear (to go with your lack of ass), we can solve this problem, and the solution comes from my teammate Evan. And after wearing said solution for roughly a year, I can report that the solution will work, work for everyone, and doesn't require squats and supplements. And it's extremely simple for you to do at home, on your own, and it took about 20 minutes to knock out.
Four point harness connection, with two in back and two points on the belt
So here is what you need: A pod pack, a pair of suspenders, two-sided velcro, and scissors.
That's it. That's the list.
I grabbed a padded set of suspenders off of Amazon. I highly suggest you do the same, unless you want to have the straps dig into your shoulders. What you're doing is shifting your paint's weight from being held in-place by side pressure of the belt to downward force on your shoulders in your straps (with some help at the belt)---so narrow and non-padded are not your friends. They'll dig in. Get some that have pads and distribute weight.
You also want to make sure that they'll clip in, and that the come with clips that pair up as well---or just buy some separately.
That's it. That's the list.
I grabbed a padded set of suspenders off of Amazon. I highly suggest you do the same, unless you want to have the straps dig into your shoulders. What you're doing is shifting your paint's weight from being held in-place by side pressure of the belt to downward force on your shoulders in your straps (with some help at the belt)---so narrow and non-padded are not your friends. They'll dig in. Get some that have pads and distribute weight.
You also want to make sure that they'll clip in, and that the come with clips that pair up as well---or just buy some separately.
Three pointed harness connection, with a single point in the back. There's the single point connection! Wrap that puppy around there a couple of times to strengthen the support for the strap.
Once you have those bought, look for strong, two-sided velcro. I bought a roll of the stuff, with several feet involved. You'll want that. I used 1/2" and it worked extremely well. Again, you want two-sided with the scratchy loops on one side, and the other side being fuzzy (I know, very technical).
Slide the bottom connections for the harness onto the velcro strips, and look for where it would likely drop down on the harness had it come with clips. In the front, that's likely going to be on either side of your tummy button, and in the velcro of your pod pack's belt. If it's within the velcro that comes on it, even better.
Now, wrap that velcro strip with the connection around it. Multiple times, and back onto itself in loops. It's going to be supporting weight, so lock it onto itself, and do it a few times. The more you do this, the stronger it will be---but know that you don't need to go with overkill on it.
Then, do the exact same thing on the back of your pack, with those loops likely falling between a couple of the sleeves for your pods on the pack. Get them velcro'ed on well, so that they don't move.
Slide the bottom connections for the harness onto the velcro strips, and look for where it would likely drop down on the harness had it come with clips. In the front, that's likely going to be on either side of your tummy button, and in the velcro of your pod pack's belt. If it's within the velcro that comes on it, even better.
Now, wrap that velcro strip with the connection around it. Multiple times, and back onto itself in loops. It's going to be supporting weight, so lock it onto itself, and do it a few times. The more you do this, the stronger it will be---but know that you don't need to go with overkill on it.
Then, do the exact same thing on the back of your pack, with those loops likely falling between a couple of the sleeves for your pods on the pack. Get them velcro'ed on well, so that they don't move.
The ones I've used for a year. Work great and cost $20---click the picture to connect.
Once you do that, you just need to adjust your suspenders as needed to fit you, and you're done. Congrats! You can now run without having to worry about your pod pack sliding down you and hitting your legs when you run. And you can carry a lot of paint if you're the type that likes to throw a ton every time out.
For those without an ass, here's some help. I've also found it very helpful in terms of lower back pain. Your shoulders can definitely feel it after a couple of days of having roughly a case on your back at all times, but that's still a whole lot better than lower back issues. So, do what you will with this info. But it is a solution for an issue that does affect lots of us.
For those without an ass, here's some help. I've also found it very helpful in terms of lower back pain. Your shoulders can definitely feel it after a couple of days of having roughly a case on your back at all times, but that's still a whole lot better than lower back issues. So, do what you will with this info. But it is a solution for an issue that does affect lots of us.
